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There was always some consolation for the awkward fumbling, the clumsy manhandling and the unreasonable demands on her body. And these most often eventually found their way up her nose or ingested in a ceremony more elaborate and often more pleasurable than the lovemaking it was intended to supplement. At long last, there was the customary uneasy halt to the performance where the audience looked around at one another to judge whether an applause was required. And this would soon break forth when the cue was given by a couple of firm handclaps: usually initiated by Sir Kenneth who himself relied on a discrete nod from his decidedly cultured and foul-breathed cultural curator. And then like waves crashing on the beach or, more often, a strong wind against the window, applause would break out amongst Sir Kenneth’s thirty or forty guests and continue until Sir Kenneth judged that it was time to stand up and stride, still clapping appreciatively, to the dais in front of the gathered. What do you suppose they are?’ ‘Dunno.’ ‘Think.’ ‘I’m trying.’ ‘You’re trying to think? Isn’t that supposed to come naturally by now? Anyway, I mean outside of your academics what have you learned from life over the past 23 years? What cache of wisdom and personal qualities have your acquired over that period of time that will be essential if you want to do more than just survive out there in the big wide world?’ ‘Well, like, I suppose I’ve got self-respect and self-esteem.’ ‘Absolutely. Very important. What else? What about self-confidence?’ ‘Oh, yeah. Lots of confidence. Good one Dad.’ ‘And where did you get all these qualities from? Think hard now.’ ‘Like jus experiencing stuff, I suppose.’ ‘I see. Any role models?’ ‘Shoot, yeah. Loads. Like Green Day. Billy-Joe Armstrong is way cool. Walking Contradiction is probably my favorite song of theirs.’ ‘I’ve probably heard it but can’t really remember. Anyway, you’re a good musician and guitarist so you probably know merit when you hear.
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